Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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