When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
