At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
