You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
