he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
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