I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i think my cat just said my name.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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