Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
