If i come over, it means nothing
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He shit in the fireplace
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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