I'm laying in your front yard are you home
even my farts smell like vagina
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize