they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
