Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize