I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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