1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
