Walk of Shame today included voting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We had to coat check the pizza.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
