508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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