I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
