I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Houston, we have a squirter
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
