normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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