He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
