also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
