i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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