Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Randomize
