I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
