I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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