let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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