you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
