dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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