And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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