Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
