3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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