Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
