i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
