Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
