Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were destined to go to rehab together
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
