All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
