oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
