just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize