i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
