I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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