I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
