so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
