Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
