Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
