wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think im going to throw up on grandma
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
