he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
