he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
