Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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