Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
