summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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