He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
