You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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