it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize