The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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