I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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